Re-thinking Forgiveness

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:20 - 22

"And forgive us our debts,
   as we also have forgiven our debtors."
Matthew 6:12

Forgiveness is a hard concept. It's something we all know we should do, something we talk about, something we "claim," but it's hard to actually DO. 

We have all kinds of excuses. "You don't know what he/she did to me!" "That's a heinous crime!" Or we call something forgiveness that really isn't. "Yeah, I've forgiven him/her, but ..." "I've forgiven them, but I never want to see them again!" 

 We harbor bitterness, or anger, or hurt, or fear, justifying it by repeating how much we were hurt, and how wrong it was. By focusing on the person who hurt us, or the incident, it is impossible to forgive as Jesus did. 

In order to forgive like Jesus, we have to look at Jesus. Jesus, hanging on the cross, is the example to us for forgiveness. 

When I look at my hurt, when I look at how deliberately someone hurt me, I can't forgive them. I want to protect myself, I want to hurt them back, I want to stay away from them. I can't love them when my eyes are on my hurt. 

When I look at Jesus, I see His forgiveness for me on the cross. I see His willingness to endure the pain for my wrongs done against Him. ("Against you, you only, have I sinned" Psalm 51:4) I see His continued love for me, in spite of my continued wrongs against Him. 

When I look at Jesus, I have no defense for keeping my hurt, or my  bitterness, my fear or my anger. When I look at Jesus, I must love others. His love over-fills my heart, wanting to be poured out on others. 

It can be easy to excuse ourselves by saying, "Well, that's Jesus! He was perfect! He doesn't understand what I'm going through!"  But the Bible says He DOES understand:
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin."
Hebrews 4:15



There are Christians who are persecuted, martyred, beaten, killed. These Christians have forgiven their captors. More than "forgiveness," they love them. In the book "Jesus Freaks" by D.C. Talk and Voice of the Martyrs', there is a story of a Christian and his torturer. The torturer told the Christian to be afraid, because "I have all the power. I can kill you." The Christian replied, "No, I have all the power, because I can still love you."

That kind of forgiveness and love can only come from looking at the face of Jesus and His love for us. When I think of what Jesus has done for me, and what other Christians have forgiven, my hurts seem so small. 

I believe that the ability to forgive and love those who hurt us is directly related to our ability to focus on the face of Jesus.

When our hurts are easy to bear, sweet to cling to, and easy to recite, it is so difficult to look away from ourselves, into His face. When we cannot endure our pain, we can only look at Him. 

My life is too easy to force my eyes on Jesus moment by moment, and I am too weak to pray for more pain to focus my sight on Him. But I have every confidence in this: 
"that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. " Phillippians 1:6

With His help, I can look at Him, and let His forgiveness flow onto those who have hurt me. I can let His love not only flow out of, but fill my heart so that I love those who hurt me. Jesus is so good. His love is so great. He will never leave me or forsake me. And through Him, I can run on the mountains of life without slipping and without fear. 

"My God is great,
so strong and so mighty,
there's nothing my God cannot do."

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus. 
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace."