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Through these many hours of observations, I have come to understand that all parents enable their children, but not all parents enable them to succeed. I have been blessed with parents who have enabled me to succeed.
The dictionary defines "enable" as ": to provide with the means or opportunity, b : to make possible, practical, or easy." (merriam-webster)
I particularly like the second definition, "to make possible, practical, or easy."
My parents have consistently made the "impossible" POSSIBLE for me. With their close assistance, I have accomplished things that others have said were "impossible," and things I believed were impossible.
My parents have not done this by removing me from hard or difficult situations. They have tended to thrust me IN to hard and difficult situations! But with their help, they guaranteed my success.
When I was 12, the Logos PE class ran ten miles for the first time. However, during the running time, I was on crutches with a pulled muscle. A day or two before the award ceremony, my dad took me out to run the ten miles. After school, the two of us alone ran and walked the ten mile course and made it back under two hours. I received a ribbon for the ten mile run on awards night. My dad enabled me to accomplish ten miles.
My dad did not call the principal and request a "special award" since I had been disabled at the original running time. My dad did not stick me in a wheelchair and wheel me along the route. But by his presence beside me, every step of those ten miles, my dad enabled me to go the distance - and he didn't get an award for it!
Shortly before I turned sixteen, I heard about a piano accompanist opportunity. A small, community theater was putting on "Crazy For You." Their original pianist hired in March had quit. Learning the music was "too hard" for her. With less than four weeks to opening night, I accepted the job.
There were over 100 pages of music to learn. The music was not written for piano, but was a reduced orchestral score. I was doing the job of an eighty piece orchestra with my ten fingers.
I practised eight hours a day, ate a quick dinner, and went to rehearsal to practice more, and play what I could. I did not do this by myself. My mother, who at forty-two had JUST had her fifth baby, made this impossible task, possible. She made me breakfast every morning, got me out of bed, and sat beside me at the piano - all day long. Every hour I was there, she was there. With a newborn in her arms, she pointed out notes I could leave out, encouraged me, brought me lunch, listened to my tears, wrapped my aching, sore wrists in ace bandages and told me, "Keep practising." She came to every rehearsal, and helped turn pages and cross out more notes. Every step of the journey, my mom was there, enabling me to accomplish what a task that was beyond me.
But I did it. Opening night came, and I played piano for every single song. And I did it well.
My mother sat through every hour of practice and rehearsal. She didn't get to take a bow at the end of the performances, but my victory was her victory. When I complained that this was too hard, she said, "Keep practising." When my wrists were swollen and aching from the unaccustomed hours at the piano, she checked with the doctor, got me ibuprofen, ice and bandages. Then she said, "Keep practising." She did not let me give up. The parts that were too hard for me, constant discipline, focus, the HOURS, she made possible.
Through these experiences, and others, my parents taught me that what is hard, is not impossible, and what is impossible, is only hard. Because of this lessons, I have done amazing things.
I have written a musical in under three weeks, complete with script, music, and lyrics. I have written a novel of over 50,000 words in thirty days - three times. I completed college debt free, with a near A average while taking 18 or more credits almost every term. I have lost thirty pounds in a year. I have gone to Taiwan on a mission trip, and taught English to more than a hundred children when I didn't speak their language. I have decided to follow Jesus, wherever His path takes me - hard or impossible.
My parents enabled me to face difficult things by facing them with me, and helping to make them possible. I have never heard my parents say "give up." When I came to them and said, "This is too hard," they said, "You can." And then would help make that true.
My heart breaks when I see parents of teenagers, young children, my students say, "This is too hard." When a parent says that, what they are communicating to their child is "You can't."
If something is too hard for your child, make it easy for them. Don't take the work away, help them complete it. Learning something new is HARD, but in order to succeed at life, you must be able to learn. Working hard is exhausting. It's difficult. But it is sometimes necessary, and if you have worked hard before, you know you can do it. It is not an impossible hurdle to over come, but a journey you take, step by step.
Tell your children, "You can." And then enable them to DO it.
